Dinner is served

Steak and potatoes in

Lumpy turds out

Large, brown, smelly with sin

Deadly no doubt

Happy excretion it was not

Soulless, aye

Fighting the pot

The whole thing smacked of why.

She said yes

I’m newly engaged

So this is the first

Poo poem waged

Of which, it did burst
Out from my butthole

With a fiercely force

Like a hot iron gut pole

Or a winged hell horse
And wow, I have to say

Now that I’m single no more

My lady might rue the day

When she said yes to this boor.

You’ve Missed Me, I know

You’ve missed me, I know
And all the poos, unbestowed
But I’m back in the saddle
With both hands on the paddle
Ready to steer through the poop
And keep you in the loop
Through poetic verses
Of how the poo transverses
And fills up the bowl
To blow your mind hole.
Poo Poetry, take 3.
It’s just you all and me.


A weekend of junk

Filling my gut

High smelly, like a skunk

As it leaves my butt.


But I ran in the morning

To better my body

And pass from the mourning

Of the tasty food that’s quite shoddy.


And now I must wipe

That brown eye of mine

To keep it the type

Of glistening, clean shine.

Back at It?

Pooping in the old workplace

What a regrettable state of affairs

To be sitting in the familiar space

Without the paycheck or the office shares.

But I’ll leave before the traffic hits

And there’s definite solace in that

And I’m still kinda getting paid to shit

And it’s a lettuce made, nasty splat.

Data Doo Doo

Post run poo

Explosive and grand

Weighed myself too

On the scale I did stand

I wanna know it by the pound!

Analyze the stench

Maybe give it an ultrasound

Between my ass cheeks clenched.

Post-work Poo

Being laid off won’t stop me from pooping

Doing some while on the clock is the best

But these poems will continue looping

Through everyone’s emails, texts and all the rest.


Max shared his fresh tuna, a big ass blue fin

Before that were hotdogs, chips and beer

A combination that makes this shit an unholy sin

Full of a stench that the righteous shall fear.


And that’s all I have to say about that

No need to wax on and smother you in detail

Even if this poo was quite long and fat

But I will say, my book is available in retail.