You’ve Missed Me, I know

You’ve missed me, I know
And all the poos, unbestowed
But I’m back in the saddle
With both hands on the paddle
Ready to steer through the poop
And keep you in the loop
Through poetic verses
Of how the poo transverses
And fills up the bowl
To blow your mind hole.
Poo Poetry, take 3.
It’s just you all and me.

Data Doo Doo

Post run poo

Explosive and grand

Weighed myself too

On the scale I did stand

I wanna know it by the pound!

Analyze the stench

Maybe give it an ultrasound

Between my ass cheeks clenched.

Post-work Poo

Being laid off won’t stop me from pooping

Doing some while on the clock is the best

But these poems will continue looping

Through everyone’s emails, texts and all the rest.


Max shared his fresh tuna, a big ass blue fin

Before that were hotdogs, chips and beer

A combination that makes this shit an unholy sin

Full of a stench that the righteous shall fear.


And that’s all I have to say about that

No need to wax on and smother you in detail

Even if this poo was quite long and fat

But I will say, my book is available in retail.


Early morning runs prime the pump

Making for an easy and healthy dump.

Chicken Adobo, a Filipino dish

Very, very tasty and better than fish,

Paired with rice

Comes out nice.

Too Schemey

Normally I hate two poops in a day

Especially when the second follows the first

In the span of an hour I’d say

But I was, this morning, ready to burst.

And I left the toilet in such a way

I felt like a man marooned with an unquenched thirst.

But now I’ve finished and hope to pay

No more, because three poops is the absolute worst.

Who Knows

Like an empty soul

My poop has haunted me

Threatening to burst from out my hole


And now, release, but not all.

Clumpity plops into bowl

Pass like white girls in the mall

Aimlessly stupid along the pole.

But I had a donut today

And that is very good

But likely won’t nicely play

And pass as it should.