Gleaming

A weekend of junk

Filling my gut

High smelly, like a skunk

As it leaves my butt.

 

But I ran in the morning

To better my body

And pass from the mourning

Of the tasty food that’s quite shoddy.

 

And now I must wipe

That brown eye of mine

To keep it the type

Of glistening, clean shine.

Back at It?

Pooping in the old workplace

What a regrettable state of affairs


To be sitting in the familiar space


Without the paycheck or the office shares.


But I’ll leave before the traffic hits


And there’s definite solace in that


And I’m still kinda getting paid to shit


And it’s a lettuce made, nasty splat.

Data Doo Doo

Post run poo

Explosive and grand


Weighed myself too


On the scale I did stand


I wanna know it by the pound!


Analyze the stench


Maybe give it an ultrasound


Between my ass cheeks clenched.

Post-work Poo

Being laid off won’t stop me from pooping

Doing some while on the clock is the best

But these poems will continue looping

Through everyone’s emails, texts and all the rest.

 

Max shared his fresh tuna, a big ass blue fin

Before that were hotdogs, chips and beer

A combination that makes this shit an unholy sin

Full of a stench that the righteous shall fear.

 

And that’s all I have to say about that

No need to wax on and smother you in detail

Even if this poo was quite long and fat

But I will say, my book is available in retail.

Quickie

Early morning runs prime the pump

Making for an easy and healthy dump.


Chicken Adobo, a Filipino dish


Very, very tasty and better than fish,


Paired with rice


Comes out nice.

Too Schemey

Normally I hate two poops in a day

Especially when the second follows the first


In the span of an hour I’d say


But I was, this morning, ready to burst.


And I left the toilet in such a way


I felt like a man marooned with an unquenched thirst.


But now I’ve finished and hope to pay


No more, because three poops is the absolute worst.