A weekend of junk
Filling my gut
High smelly, like a skunk
As it leaves my butt.
But I ran in the morning
To better my body
And pass from the mourning
Of the tasty food that’s quite shoddy.
And now I must wipe
That brown eye of mine
To keep it the type
Of glistening, clean shine.
Pooping in the old workplace
What a regrettable state of affairs
To be sitting in the familiar space
Without the paycheck or the office shares.
But I’ll leave before the traffic hits
And there’s definite solace in that
And I’m still kinda getting paid to shit
And it’s a lettuce made, nasty splat.
Post run poo
Explosive and grand
Weighed myself too
On the scale I did stand
I wanna know it by the pound!
Analyze the stench
Maybe give it an ultrasound
Between my ass cheeks clenched.
Being laid off won’t stop me from pooping
Doing some while on the clock is the best
But these poems will continue looping
Through everyone’s emails, texts and all the rest.
Max shared his fresh tuna, a big ass blue fin
Before that were hotdogs, chips and beer
A combination that makes this shit an unholy sin
Full of a stench that the righteous shall fear.
And that’s all I have to say about that
No need to wax on and smother you in detail
Even if this poo was quite long and fat
But I will say, my book is available in retail.
Early morning runs prime the pump
Making for an easy and healthy dump.
Chicken Adobo, a Filipino dish
Very, very tasty and better than fish,
Paired with rice
Comes out nice.
These three a day shit fests
Are wreaking havoc on my brown eye
Chafed raw and sore like little pests
Eating away the flesh above my thigh.
Normally I hate two poops in a day
Especially when the second follows the first
In the span of an hour I’d say
But I was, this morning, ready to burst.
And I left the toilet in such a way
I felt like a man marooned with an unquenched thirst.
But now I’ve finished and hope to pay
No more, because three poops is the absolute worst.