Ever wonder, before TP, what we did
After a mushy poop from your butthole slid
Only halfway out, leaving behind shit on your behind?
Well I did, and look of course, and here’s what I did find:
Sticks for those in the East
Scraping away a fruit fly’s feast
Though China did first use TP
While water for the Arabs post poop and pee.
Europe, well they weren’t so clean
Which why refusal to shake a French left hand isn’t mean
Because they scrapes away feces by hand
Probably the grossest method in all the land.