TP

Ever wonder, before TP, what we did

After a mushy poop from your butthole slid

Only halfway out, leaving behind shit on your behind?

Well I did, and look of course, and here’s what I did find:

 

Sticks for those in the East

Scraping away a fruit fly’s feast

Though China did first use TP

While water for the Arabs post poop and pee.

 

Europe, well they weren’t so clean

Which why refusal to shake a French left hand isn’t mean

Because they scrapes away feces by hand

Probably the grossest method in all the land.

 

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