Auto Hell

I hate auto flush
But my poo smell…
It makes me blush
Super bowl hell!
Such power in the auto flush
Splashed my butt with cold!
Sphincter tightening in a rush
From spicy icy no fun poo, behold!
My butt is wet
My O-ring hot
All is set
To burn the lot.

It was an extravaganza of birthday food.
My girlfriend has not told me if she has poo’d
But I suspect she has based on nothing at all.
It's generally how I base everything, such gall! 

But again, I hate these toilets.

Stir Fry Delight

Stir fry delight!

A little rougher coming out than I’d like.

But cornstarch, sherry and soy sauce

They make for easy stir fry!

In the kitchen, I’m the boss!

I know, an easy rhyme, like I didn’t even try.

But the point is I make a mean…

Asian cuisine?


That’s not tight

As the kids these days say.




Get it? Ya big dick.


Hash House A Go Go

Hash House A Go Go

You ripped apart my ass.

Your portions are a no no

Gigantic caloric feasts, hard to pass.

I think I might be bleeding

This poop was monstrous bad

Shockingly I’m needing

Hardly anything I had

But it was so tasty

The food, not the poo

Let’s not be hasty

Especially considering who

Is telling you this

As they poo and piss

From within the loo


Softer Yet

Little pieces plopping down

Piling up in the bowl

Free from pain and the color brown

Soft and passing easy from my hole

This poop is nice?

A little gooey, or like a paste

I fear for later and the price

I’ll pay for my next waste

I’m sure though, this wipe

Will smear

And I will gripe

To any listening ear.

Triangle Shape Poo Poem

Oreos, both original and golden
Double stuff and single layer
Milk dunking and flowed in
My mouth, el devour mayor
Who prefers the yellow?
Me, that's fucking who
Chocolate? um hello!
You look like, poo
Drink some pee
Over eat shit
Hee hee


Painful poops are very sad.

I feel such sorrow

                                   For my O ring.

The dirt star cries, it tears.

Is there no mercy on the planet??

Heavens above, dust thou poop?!


Free of gas, my belly flat.

Pooping beef lettuce wraps.

They were made with garlic

Wiping shards of glass, the sphincter wails.

No Wayne, it says not what, but why.

Bad Shits

Bright and early gets the worm!

Sitting cheerful as I squirm

This early poo is pushing through

And I’m giddy as hell in the loo

Slightly jagged and not too nice

This poo, it hurt. I’m paying the price

Of eating junk and drinking beer

Of raging without a fear

That Del Taco in the late night

Would come out without a fight.

But it has, but I am still glad.

Both for the poop and the fun that I had.