Grooms of the Stool

Ever wonder how the rich shit?

Is it better than where I sit?

Do any still have Grooms of the Stool?

That most prestigious fool?

Who attends the royal bum

With the tender care of a mum

But holds untold political power

Even though may be prey to a royal golden shower?

Who can say, and would I actually desire

Another to wipe my ass for hire?

No, I do need such whore

I’d rather shit like the poor.

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