V day shits, bright and early
Did I mention my mustache is nice and curly?
My panda bear likes it and me even more
Which is why I won’t take a poo on the floor.
If you’re all alone and unwanted on this hallmark holiday,
Take solace in the idea that it’s just one day
And maybe take a poop and set it on fire
On the doorstep of the one you most desire.