Shut it

Who talks in a public shitter??

“My dog, she bit her!”

Who gives a shit?

Hang up and shit.

Then get the F out.

Cellphone conversations is not what the public toilet is about.

I hope I see you walking in front of me,

I’ll reach out and kick you in the F-ing knee.

If I could, I’d take a dump on your car.

And light it on fire and film it from afar.



Dr. Dre Said…

Shrimp scampi!

Come out come out!

Butter be crampy!!

I’m about to shout!

Been holding back gases

Watching the world through rose tinted glasses

Betcha think about them asses

As they, walk by and poop, the masses

Never gonna get it!

Not this time boy, you never gonna get it!

As I, shit myself in random acts

And blame it on alternative facts

Fuck Donald Trump!

Put your fist up and and pump.

Yo, this was a rap.

Mokawk 1. son!

Beef chili lettuce wraps

              chocolate balls Filled with frozen cow tit juice

Spewing out my butthole


I eat knowing poo must follow

Shit on my carpets?? Poop in my shoe?

Crapper American pyrex, unrelated to shit

But the English make better pyrex, so I’m calling it quits.


Grooms of the Stool

Ever wonder how the rich shit?

Is it better than where I sit?

Do any still have Grooms of the Stool?

That most prestigious fool?

Who attends the royal bum

With the tender care of a mum

But holds untold political power

Even though may be prey to a royal golden shower?

Who can say, and would I actually desire

Another to wipe my ass for hire?

No, I do need such whore

I’d rather shit like the poor.

Pee Pee

Can we just take a minute here

To recognize the unspoken element

Of each poop we take and hold dear

That’s always accompanied by another repellent?

It’s what Putin might, hopefully, have on Trump.

That bodily fluid necessary for a golden shower.

Because I piss, not always the same, with each and every dump.

And today my piss joined in with some mighty, mighty power.


Only 13 minutes until the meeting

This poo has a time limit that cannot be breached

Luckily it’s flowing somewhat nice

But there’s not much time, it bears repeating

And the poo is still coming! Quite beseeched!

Now only nine minutes, will it suffice?

I hate pinching one off

It ruins my day

I need to be done!

5 minutes! Panic aloft!

Must wipe away

This was not fun!

Political Poo

Poopless yesterday, but that’s okay

Heard enough shit from the presser by Trump

And first thing I did was poop today.

And I’m feeling pretty good about this mighty second dump.

It’s no rant on nuclear holocaust

And it’s not a racist quip

But it came at no cost

And I’m feeling quite hip

Cause as soon as I wipe

And wash each hand

I’ll return to the hype

Of the promised land.