You’re Doing it Wrong 

Last week was concerning
As I was not pooping 

As often as I should 

Then I watched this video of a unicorn pooping 
Rainbow soft serve 

Western toilets cause a kinking 
In our piping, 
that's the thinking 

So the unicorn suggests
To make each poop the best
We squat, knees to chest.

This unkinks the piping 
Opens the poop chute 
For a glorious wiping 
And a happy woot woot

More Lettuce, Maybe?

Monday was a no go

Tuesday, it’s late.

A return to regularity, I cannot wait.

Maybe more bran

But I was never of a fan

Of those little brown muffins

With the tiny oat flakes.

One More Time

It’s been a long time

Since the words have flowed

Lamenting the climb

Of the maturity I’ve showed

To keeping my mind

From the poetry that owes

All its power that I find

From the bowels it blows

A poop of such kind

It rattles, bestows

The beauty of rhymes

And gifts to those

Who cringe and go blind

From the power of my flow.

Poo Poetry, not Prose.

Now again, here we go.