I hate the holidays. They fill me with despair towards others and a loathing for the culture of our society. My preferred method for dealing with this is to down a bunch of scotch and curl up in my bed to weather the storm. I’ve tried before to change my attitude about the holidays but have had only minimal success. I’ve faked it until I thought I would make it and I haven’t yet. A plastic smile plastered to my pie and a pretend feeling of jauntiness flowing from my hateful self has never made me feel better, especially when surrounded by jubilant lovers of holidays.
I’ve wanted to change, truly and wholly. I’ve wanted to love the holidays and gobble up the good cheer along with the grub, because in general I am a happy person. I won’t go into why I hate the holidays, I’ll save that for a therapist, but I’ll say that it’s been a battle for me my entire life. And this is the year that changes.
This may seem quite obvious to others, but I didn’t realize just how easy it is to feel happy regardless of any predispositions. It’s a choice, pure and simple. I do it all the time. Bad days at work, tons of traffic, a fight with a friend, the loss of an important item. When these things happen, I go through the normal emotional responses and after processing the event, I move on and choose to be happy. I just never tried to genuinely do it for the holidays. I’ve faked it, while still feeling bitter, which is choosing to remain bitter. It’s a hard reflection.
Luckily I have someone in my life that makes me feel good about myself and makes it even easier to choose to be happy. Whenever I hang out with her, I feel happy. So I decided to look at today as just another day that I’m going to be hanging out with Sierra. And when I approached it like that, it was easy. It’s just another day with the lovely girl and it happens to be Thanksgiving. So happy Thanksgiving everyone, genuinely from the bottom of my heart. Thanks for reading and I hope the rest of the holidays finds you in good spirits. And if they don’t…well you can also kick down your neighbor’s door and spit on his carpet.
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