Well what do you know, it’s CHRIMAS HODBOE

CHRIMAS HODBOE is perturbed, which caused a 12.7 magnitude earthquake on Mars. Saturday, the powers that be attempted to separate CHRIMAS HODBOE. CHRIMAS HODBOE cannot be separated, only stretched. CHRIMAS HODBOE invented silly putty. You’re welcome children of the 1950’s.

CHRIMAS HODBOE did not create The Universe, he let’s God take care of his light work.

Remember, CHRIMAS HODBOE is two people—Thomas Jarboe, Christopher Hodson.

Fact: CHRIMAS HODBOE rode on one skateboard at the same time.

Another Fact: CHRIMAS HODBOE doesn’t like it when people pronounce “crayons” as “crans”. It’s “CRAY-ONS”, get it right. Also, watch how you pronounce “peanuts”, you know who you are.

Better Fact: CHRIMAS HODBOE invented Snoop Dogg. You’re welcome gangsters.

CHRIMAS HODBOE deserves a cult. That being said, drink the kool-aid and tell your friends.

And now boys and girls, a noontime poem:

Fiend from the Wall

Seeing, sensing, suprising all
He stepped out from the wall.
Gathered round the fire place
All gave way before his space.
Spindly arms grained as wood
Shook and sought as if they should
Seek to grasp and find the one
Who stirred his fiendish heart and fun.
Frightened and Fearful
Stunned and Tearful
The party’s eyes were unbelieving
The devil’s looks so deceiving
His fiery orbs transfixed the girl
His spell, it sent her thoughts awhirl
And froze the rest
At his behest
Horrified they could but watch his hellish movement towards his treasure
Undulating wooden legs hobbling forward in ghastly measure
Six-fingered hands seized her then and dragged her to the wall
Where the surface dipped and swallowed them both before the eyes of all.

No-Shave November is upon us. Do your part and stow your razor. You can also check out my Movember page and donate to help men’s health:

CHRIMAS HODBOE saved an entire alien species from extinction. You’re welcome mormons. And Scientologists.

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Dark Roast by Thomas Uriah Jarboe

The Dark Roast

by Thomas Uriah Jarboe

Giveaway ends December 03, 2013.

See the giveaway details
at Goodreads.

Enter to win


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