Fiery Beef

Beef chili lettuce wraps

I’ve opined on them before

Using my poet’s rap

To unwind and settle the score

Those chilies, sometimes they’re hot

So much so they burn on the way out

You never know if they’ll bring the heat or not

Making for a fiery brown spout.

Today, well today they brought the fire

And I can tell you that my O-ring is, well, you know

It’s not happy, in pain it is mired

But, you plow on ahead and keep your head low.


Poop, poop, poop.

Do you ever wonder just how much you make?

In your whole life.


Poundage, I’m getting at.

How much does a lifetime weigh?

Into the ocean, into underground tanks.


TP, baby wipes and ass gaskets.

Shit tons, quite literally.

Slurry cats smell.

Two Day



It’s like paying for yesterday.

For failing to poo.



Invisible plug?

Taking the space, in the brown eye…


Poop, I finally release you!

Escape! For I’ve held you prisoner too long.

The shame of constipation, knew

That I longed to hear, your freedom song!

Flatulence, in abundance, precluded your freedom.

And in my defense, I tried to expel you from my dukedom.

But you would not budge!

I heaved and I grunted, brow wet

But you would not leave, no nudge

Would move you to get


One Line

Like Captain crunch

That’s how it smelled

And yeah, I know, not how it’s spelled.

But I’ll spell it how I like and eat it for brunch

With mimosas and Mary’s that are bloody.


A one stanza effort, this poop is too tough.


Friday poops are not the best!

Friday poops are but a test!

To see if you can make it through

And get’er done, this dumping of a poo!


I wish I had the chance to play

Like we used to, in recess back in the day

But now I must work and hustle

“Why Kate? You’re not wearing a bustle.”


Doc Holiday, Tombstone. Great flick.

But now the clock is sounding its tock, tick

Which kind of sounds like dirty words…

Of which I know and use for my turds.


This poem had gone off the rails!

And from it, nothing good hails

But a promise to return and do better

With a poop that’s gooey and wetter!


On the day of Odin

I did not deliver.

Like a blizzard snowed in

Nothing left, not even a sliver.

I wanted to, or course

Despite feeling fine.

But still, no poo means no poem; such remorse.

So glad I am today, to be pooping before I dine.

And as for that poo,

Well, I have to say

Between me and you,

Hardly worth the play.

But pooping is good

Even when it’s not

Because every day, you should

Push one out, on the pot.